Before I tell the tale of my family's joy of Christmas tree shopping. I thought I'd point out that I do actually love Christmas. Now, with that out of the way, I'll include you in the blissfully wonderful tradition of picking out the family Christmas tree.
Every year we pick out a fresh tree for the holidays, and each year, no matter what size home we are currently in, it's bigger. My husband hates small trees. It has to be tall, wide, and full. Now, usually I agree, but since we have moved several times throughout our marriage the size houses have varied. The one we are currently living in, isn't huge by any means.We make it work, but it's definitely not my dream home.
We have both a living and family room, but neither are huge and being a family of 6, it can be a bit crowded.
We've put the tree in our living room/computer room for the past 2 years, and this years tree is a doozy. I think we might have 2 (maybe 3) feet in-between the tree and the chair for the computer.
It stands about 8 ft tall and has a width of about 5 1/5 ft. I haven't actually taken correct measurements of it, but when I lay down of the floor next to it, with my head at the widest branch, my feet don't quite reach the end. I am only 5 ft tall. (Well, 4 ft 11 1/2 if you want to be technical) Needless, to say, it was a big tree.
Now, the fun part- getting it home. Unfortunately, we do not own a truck. In fact, we only own one car and it's a mini-van. Although, it wasn't my first choice, it's spacious and better on gas than what our Tahoe was. It should have plenty of room to put a Christmas tree in, right? Well...yes, but only if we didn't have all 4 kids in the car with us, but that would have been way too easy. Instead, the tree got to ride on top of the van. It's not uncommon to see plenty of trees on top of cars this time of year, so why not?
This is where the weight of our gigantic tree becomes an interesting scenario. My husband is strong and he even thought it was heavy. So picture two 5 ft tall women trying to help lift this tree on top of a van that is already taller than they are. Out of all the workers available, we unfortunately, got stuck with the one woman that was just as tall as I was.
She was a very sweet and kind lady, but even with the two of us, we were next to useless when it came to helping my husband lift the tree up on top. If it weren't for the fact that the doors slide open on both sides and I could stand in the door frame, we might possibly still be there twiddling our thumbs.
It's finally tied to the top of the van and we are ready to drive home. I nervous that it's going to fly off the top since it's just tied down with twine, so my husband and I each have one arm hanging out the window holding onto the branches as we slowly drive down the back roads to get home.
I'm actually shocked at how well and easy it was to get there without the tree shifting.
My husband slides it off the van and we carry it inside. It's not too heavy for me because I get to carry the top so that was a bonus in my book. Setting the tree in the stand was something different though.
My two boys, along with one of their friends, try to help my husband guide the base onto the tree as I start dinner.
I watch amusingly from the kitchen as I hear my husband grunt each time he lifts.
The boys just point say, "Go a little this way. No, not that way, the other way."
Of course with tree branches in my husbands face he can't exactly see which way they are pointing. I put the lid over the hamburger meat cooking on the stove and turn the heat off before I come and rescue my husband from going insane.
He lifts the tree once more and I slide the stand around the trunk and he sets it down. Wha La! Unfortunately, I am now stuck holding the damn thing while he screws the bolts in for twenty minutes just to find that it's ridiculously crooked and about to tip over.
My husband climbs out from under the tree and holds it while I stand back and look.
"A little to the left," I say. "Now, tilt it back. Now a little to the right. Perfect."
Of course now that it's 'perfect' we have to completely unscrew it because the base in not even touching the ground. Oh joy!
I decide to trade jobs and crawl under the tree this time since my arms are kind of short and were killing me as I stood there holding it up. I lay on the ground and scoot my body under neath (all while getting stabbed in the eyes with pine needles and branches) I notice a branch that's keeping the tree from standing straight in the stand.
"Well shit," I say.
"That doesn't sound good," my husband replies.
"I need a saw. I have to cut a branch. Hold the tree for a second."
I walk out into our garage and stumble over all of the crap that has been stored and ransacked by my children, shouting cuss words as I attempt to find the hand saw. Shockingly, it was were it was supposed to be- hanging on the wall.
I walk back inside and crawl back underneath the tree and begin to saw the branch. Unfortunately, I can't get the damn branch off without sawing the stand in half. So we have to lay the tree back down, take the stand off and start over.
By this time it's late. We already started at a later time that what we had planned, so it's now 10 o'clock and we haven't even had dinner.
While my husband finishes that, I return to the kitchen and continue on with dinner. By the time I have it done, he has cut the branch and hopefully, lightly screwed the base on straight. I cross my fingers as he stands the tree up once again. Yippy! It's straight, and even better, I don't have to hold it again while he tightens the bolts.
It's 11 o'clock after we have finished eating and decide, it's way to late to decorate it tonight and although, our kids are none too thrilled. They go to bed and wait for morning.
The morning is here and the sun is shining and instead of decorating the tree, we decide to put the outside lights up first since we need the light.
I test the first strand of lights and smoke immediately comes out from one of the bulbs. Not a good sign. Tossed those. Next.
The next 3 strands are perfect. I line up the extension cord and place them around the tree in the front of the house. The next strands however, do not go as planned. Only two work out of the six.
We don't have enough to do around the roof of the house. All we have now is one lonely little tree with lights. The rest will now have to wait until payday next week. I'm still debating whether or not it's even worth it, but to me, it's not Christmas without a lot of lights.
We head inside and decide it's time to do the tree. FINALLY!
Oh, but I forgot that I haven't tested any of those lights yet and guess what? Yep, only half work.
Now I'm acting like a crazy person checking every light on each strand, desperately trying to come up with enough to wrap around the tree. At this point I feel like 'Clark Griswald' from 'Christmas Vacation' as he sits on his roof checking every light feeling hopeless that they all the work he's done will be for nothing.
Then...wait for it...Eureka! I have enough lights. We can decorate it! (It's about damn time.)
I can honestly say, thank God that's over! At least now, we could settle in for our weekly family movie night we do every Sunday. We watched one of the best Christmas movies we have come across.
It's a Swedish movie dubbed in English called 'Christmas Story' about how a boy name Nikolas becomes Father Christmas. It's a very sweet and inspirational tale I highly recommend. It is hard to get past the fact that the mouths don't move the same (obviously), but it's worth it in the end.
So now that I'm in the Christmas spirit I will sign off by quoting author Clement Clarke Moore "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
