I know deep down that I am capable of so much more in life, but I lack the motivation to do anything about it. Does anyone else feel this way? I know if I just put the time and effort into it, I could lose all the child baring weight that I desperately want gone. Or I could finally finish the 500 projects I have going all at once if I just could get the energy to do it.
Everyone always says, "You know exercising gives you a lot more energy." Well, okay, that's all well and good, but where do I get this initial energy to exercise in order to achieve this stamina? I can have all the motivation to exercise in the world... for about a week. After that point, I'm too exhausted to give a shit.
I have never been one that enjoys running. Anyone who has ever known me, knows this. I have very short legs, and when I went through basic training for the military a long time ago, I hurt my hip and it's never been the same since. So for me, running is out. I hate it. When I do have to run (usually chasing after my kids or dogs) I feel like I resemble the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man from Ghostbusters. THUD! THUD! THUD!
Now, granted, I'm not nearly that large or anything, but you get my point. It's not pretty. Don't take me wrong though, I am not sitting here saying, "Oh poor me, I'm so fat." That's not at all what I'm saying. I could change it, if I really wanted to. Some people can't and struggle all their lives with weight or other things they don't particularly care about themselves, but that's not me. So I ask myself, what if I did put in that effort? What could I achieve then? Would I then have the energy to make a difference?
For me, I know I have plenty of other things in my life that I can be proud of and happy about that certainly outweigh the bad. My husband for one, is my number one supporter in everything I do. I think, at times, he is the only one that truly gets me. Then, of course, comes my four children. They are everything that is precious to me in the world, and my weight is just battle scars from having those beloved little rascals. So, really, how can I complain?
I do still feel at times though that I could be out doing something, and not necessarily for me, but for others instead. I love being a helping hand for someone in need, but I can't always help in the ways I would like. I sit back and hear about all of the wealthy muli-millionaires and wish I had that kind of money. I won't lie and say I wouldn't buy my family and I a bunch of awesome toys with that kind of money, but I'd also like to think I would give back to those that need it.
If I ever make it big as a writer, I promise to do just this. I solemnly swear to use my wealth to help others. I want to make a difference in peoples lives. I'm not a religious person so I can't shout to the world about Jesus or 'Go tell it on the Mountain' or whatever, but the next time I see an elderly person walking across the street, I can help. If there's a stray kitten stuck in the middle of the road about to get hit by cars, I can get out of my car and move him to safety and possibly find them a home. It's nothing huge, but to the people or animals, ect. that you help, it could mean the world.
When you sit down in bed tonight ask yourself that question, only gear it towards your life. Ask yourself, what if I just changed one thing, would it make me a better person? Would it? Tell me, what would you change?
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